What did I just watch? I’ve definetely watched some messed up Indie films in the midst of quarantine, but nothing… NOTHING, compares to this CGI horror fest with a budget of, let me check… Ok, 95 million USD. That’s a whole bunch of flipping money. Ok, where do I start? Well, why don’t I start with the plot. There isn’t one. If there is a plot, the plot is that they sing about how they want to go into a balloon so they can get reincarnated… I don’t know. Part of the problem with this is that we never get enough time with any of the characters, and those that we do have the personality trait of “magical” or “dancer” or even “doot.” This movie just doesn’t make sense, and it doesn’t help that the CGI made me want to bleach my eyes at the time. It seems like they couldn’t decide between showing everything or making the famous people look like Cats. Which, for this cast, there are no good performances at all. Between this and Artemis Fowl, poor Judy Dench clearly doesn’t care about which movies she’s going into at this point… Which, why should she? Still, it all seems bland and uninspired, even down to the music. Which is the only thing that matters in the movie! The only song that I had heard prior to watching this is somehow the least memorable, Memories. Honestly, I’m not quite sure why this movie exists. No, I take that back, I know exactly why this exists, and it disgusts me in so many god damn ways. 0.1/10, the only redeemable part is that it’s fun with friends.
P.S. don’t do the drinking game of taking a sip every time the word Jellicle comes up. I came closer to death than ever before within the first 10 minutes.
Another Flipping Film Blog 